I carry fond memories of a childhood where we ran barefoot and smiling along the dirt road.

Memories of belly laughs, playing tricks and laughter causing tear stained cheeks.

So much giggling and conspiring…

I carry with me a longing to create… achieve… arrive… to where? 

I carry a desire to please and to be understood

and my fathers wedding ring inscribed with the name of his one true love.

I carry allergy pills, a love for the sky and disdain for the sound of snapping gum.

and my frantic compulsion to record precious memories.

I carry shoe boxes filled with photos of happy smiling faces – friends, family and long lost acquaintances…. happy days gone by like passing seasons.

I carry a frayed and tattered metro map and regret from missed opportunities and failing to try.

I carry my stories of far away lands, long journeys and starting over in unfamiliar territory.

I carry lipgloss and hair clips for the hair I have been trying to grow since I was 16. 

I carry my first pair of glasses from my 1 year old self along with wise words of Kahlil Gibran, Wayne Dyer and Dr. Seuss.

I carry my fears and my worries like a wad of tissues in my pocket and hope for a happy and healthy tomorrow. 

I carry love spilling over and a deep, bottomless well of gratitude bursting at the seems.

I carry the scar on my belly through which new life arrived… twice. 

I carry confusion, feelings of unworthiness and a game plan for spreading my wings and learning to soar.

I carry inspiration and joy and a spare pacifier… (not for me) and a pack of gum.

A list of places I long to explore

and I carry my proudest title and dearest role of “mommy”.

I carry silent reverence and a prayer of gratitude

and I carry the relentless broken record… will it ever stop?